10 Things

10 Questions with: Jimmy Ball

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Photo courtesy of South Manchester News

Q1- Whats your favourite moment so far at County?

1. Scoring for the first time at EP.

 Q2- Who’s the worst dresser on the team?

2. Sam Minihan

Q3- What’s your favourite food?

3. Peppercorn Steak

Q4- What team do you support?

4. Arsenal

Q5- What’s your favourite goal of your footballing career so far?

5. FA cup second round goal. 

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County players celebrate with the crowd following Jimmy Ball’s opener against Woking in the FA Cup first round. Photo courtesy of The Guardian. 

Q6- What do you love most about Stockport County?

6. Atmosphere

Q7- Whats your all time favourite song?

7. Where is the love

Q8- Do you think County make the Play-offs come the end of the season?

8. Yes definitely

Q9- If you didn’t happen to be a footballer, what would you be?

9. Single 😂

 Q10- Where do you see yourself In 5 years time.

10. Playing league football.




10 questions with: Danny Lloyd: 

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Photo courtesy of stockportcounty.com

Q1- Whats your favourite moment so far at County? 

A – Getting to the FA Cup first round.

Q2- Who’s the worst dresser on the team? 

A – We all went out Sunday and we all looked decent to be fair, but probably Westy haha (George West).

Q3- What’s your favourite food? 

A – I love a nice steak.

Q4- What team do you support? 

A – Everton.

Q5- What’s your favourite goal of your footballing career so far? 

A – Honestly I couldn’t single one out to be honest, I’ve scored a few last minute winners and they’re always up there.

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Photo courtesy of stockportcounty.com

 

Q6- What do you love most about Stockport County? 

A – The club in general is brilliant but the lads are great, best dressing room I’ve been a part of.

Q7- Whats your all time favourite song? 

A – Again, couldn’t really single one out to be honest.

Q8- Do you think County make the Play-offs come the end of the season?

A – Yes we are capable of it, we just need to make it happen.

Q9- If you didn’t happen to be a footballer, what would you want to do? 

A – I would love to be an F1 driver, or a golfer.

Q10- Where do you see yourself In 5 years time.




10 Players every County fan wishes they could forget…

County have had more than their fair share of poor players, we wouldn’t be in division 6 otherwise. But this list of players will truly bring back some terrible memories for County supporters. Let it be stressed now that this isn’t a definitive list of County’s top 10 worst players, that would take a whole other undertaking. Enjoy and, well cringe, at this list of ‘players’.

1. Yannick Salem – Yannick briefly played for us during our league 2 season. You may not remember him… Or that season in general, mainly because it was filled with 5-0 losses (both home and away) and resulted in us getting relegated to the conference for the first time in forever. Salem’s performances for us were full of endeavour, but were filled with less end product than, well, everything. His performances and stats were so bad that he (or his agent) has altered them to look better on Wikipedia. Apparently he’s scored 9 times in 15 games for us that season. Unfortunately Yannick, the joke’s on you… I doubt we scored 9 times in that whole season, let alone 9 goals on your own.


2. Mat Sadler – Sadler played for us during our Ablett season, he was one of the many loan players Gary brought in during the struggle to compete whilst in administration.  And whilst administration certainly played a part in our poor performances, it doesn’t excuse the 20 hapless performances at left back that Sadler offered us whilst on loan. It’s worth pointing out that this guy cost Watford almost a million pounds. But after watching him struggle to defend in a County shirt, it’s hard to see how even £1 of that was justified.


3. Chris Adamson – Was at County for a whole season, 2008, coincidently the season we won promotion to league 1. Now you may think that in itself is enough for Chris to avoid this list, any player that is part of a promotion squad surely deserves some credit, right? No, wrong. Adamson played for us twice officially that season, the first of those games was our FA cup match against Staines Town. Everything was going reasonably ok, County were 1-0 up because of an unremarkable Matty McNeil goal and were seemingly on course for the victory, enter Chris Adamson… A fairly tame shot makes its way towards the County goal, Adamson spills it and Staines equalise, taking us to a replay. Adams actually played in the replay too, and whilst there were no glaring errors this time, he was part of the 11 that lost on penalties to Staines, who were 3 divisions below County at the time. It will come as no surprise to all of you that Chris didn’t play for the club again. 

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4. Brad Jones – Another goalkeeper, Brad only made 1 appearance for the Hatters and it was not one to be remembered. County played host to Bristol Rovers and lost 4-1, with Brad responsible for at least two of the goals. Unbelievably, 7 years after his County debacle, Jones was bought by Liverpool for over £2 million and went on to play 26 times for the club over 5 years. Surely this makes him a prime candidate for the award of worst former County player to fetch over a million quid? Ceremony to follow…

Brad Jones

5. Amari Morgan-Smith – A product of the ‘Just Search for a County Star’ talent programme, it was clear this was never anything but a publicity stunt for the club. Amari played once as a substitute towards the end of our promotion season, something probably done for the benefit of the sponsors, Just Search. Despite looking a handy player, Morgan-Smith was released at the end of that season by Jim Gannon and went on to build his reputation in the lower leagues. Despite being ridiculed at the time because of the manner of his appointment, he now plays in league 1, three divisions higher than County, so he’s had the last laugh there really.

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6. Peter Thompson – A goal to game ratio of 2:3, capped and scored at international level, and a large fee. Peter Thompson arrived at County to much excitement and fanfare. The nickname ‘Pistol Pete’ and a song relating to his goal scoring ability were both created before a ball was even kicked. What could possibly go wrong? Well, a lot really. Thompson played for the club 42 times over 2 seasons and scored 5 times. In hindsight, it was never going to work out. Jim Gannon’s point striker system just didn’t fit around Thompson’s poacher type attributes and whilst injuries didn’t help his cause either, it was always going to end badly for Pistol Pete. He was shipped back to Linfield in 2010 before a 50 appearances bonus was triggered, and just like that he was forgotten.

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7. Adnan Cirak – Now it was never in doubt that Cirak was going to make this list, and in some respects it may be a little unfair to include him based on stats alone. 2 goals in 10 games is certainly not the worst stats our strikers have had over the years. But I think Adnan makes the list because he epitomises the Ryan McKnight – Darije Kalezic debacle. The enthusiams that the club forced down our throats following his arrival was bizarre, he was billed as the savour of County’s season and a top division, foreign striker that we were lucky to have. His last gap equaliser against Gateshead did admittedly keep our hopes of survival alive for another week, but the sheer laziness and ineptitude that accompanied his performances, coupled with his connection to Ryan McKnight’s arrival, means that Adnan is a clear candidate for this list.

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8. Sean McConville – It could be argued that playing for County set McConville’s career back about 5 years. Even now he hasn’t been able to reach the heights he could during his first stint at Accrington. When Sean left Lancashire for Edgeley Park (for a fee), the hype was huge, County were going to get straight back into the football league. Under Didi’s astute management, and with McConville as the spearhead star signing, we were going to finish top. ‘Top 5 guaranteed’ (Evans, 2011). The reality? A poor, half arsed season which culminated in an offloading a year later. Bye bye Sean, thanks for the memories.

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9. Barry Conlon – 5 months, nine starts and zero goals were the least of Conlon’s worries in his spell for us a few years ago. A drink driving ban and some of the most ineffective performances I’ve ever seen from a County player were the bigger problem and ensured Barry made this list easily.

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10. Nabil Bounab – Not much needs to be said here. Bounab as a player is possibly a good indicator of how the first half of our conference season went. The fact that fans put his name on the back of their shirts ironically says it all.

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Bonus Ball: Jon Miles – A Hamann signing. And another great indicator of what went wrong with Didi’s reign with County. Often referred to as a ‘social loafer’ and whilst it could be harsh, it was very frustrating to watch Miles play because it was clear there was some talent there, just the application wasn’t always.

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10 Things that County fans think about during pre-season: 

County fans are loyal to a fault and will always back their team, but what will you all be thinking this pre-season as Jim Gannon attempts to assemble a team capable of taking us out of this godforsaken division? Well luckily Everything Hatters has the answer, keep on reading to find out the 10 things that every County fan will have in their head this pre-season.

  • ‘I wonder if we’ll play with wingers this season… I really miss having wingers in our team’– It’s a fact that County rarely play with out-and-out wingers, despite a plethora of managers during the last 10 years it’s not been a point of our game. Will that change this season? Probably not, Gannon was never one to play 4-4-2.
  • ‘I’ll definitely not get a new home shirt this year, it’s an outrage that every season they ask supporters to shell out another £35 after buying their season tick… Oh my! That shirt is the best one in years, wonder when it’s released???’ – Don’t even deny that you’ll not be getting a new kit this year, you do it EVERY year!
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‘But just look at it!’
  • ‘Why are all County’s pre-season friendlies shit? We should be playing teams a few divisions higher up than County to get the crowds in and test ourselves, not having matches against teams like Rochdale. Oh, wait a minute…’  – Face it guys, we’re conference north now, the teams that are ‘a few divisions higher’ are teams like Rochdale, Crewe, Barnet etc.
  • ‘Who is this new player we’ve just signed? Better check wikipedia. Oh, hang on, we’re that low that wikipedia doesn’t have player profiles for us anymore. Better ask marionsboard’. -There’s no doubt that one die-hard County fan has all the lowdown on County’s new striker, Scorey McScoreface.
  • ‘I wonder if we’ll ever get to play in the Johnstones Paint Trophy again?’ – Yep, that Tuesday night away match against Gillingham is looking more and more attractive these days isn’t it?
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‘The good old days’. 
  • ‘Is it weird if I follow all our new signings on twitter? They won’t be freaked out if I tell them to give their all for the shirt or die trying, will they?’ – Yes Barry, it is weird, please don’t put our players off before they’ve even kicked a ball!
  • ‘If we don’t put 8 past Linotype Cheadle Heath Nomads then this season is over!’  – Chill out guys, we can still recover from this.
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‘We want 8!’ 
  • ‘When are fixtures going to come out? I need to plan my Christmas holidays around the Bradford PA away trip!’ – Never fear, the fixtures will be out this Wednesday, learn more about national league north fixtures by clicking here.
  • ‘I wonder how many officials and opposition managers Jim will piss off this season?’ – There’s no denying Jim is passionate and it’s this passion that sometimes sees him fall into trouble with referees or opposition managers. My guess is that 9 complaints this season against officials and 7 against opposition managers.
  • ‘Do you think we’ll ever make it to the first round of the FA cup?’  – No Timmy, the FA cup isn’t a competition that County will ever do well in again, please just try to look forward to the away match at Rushall Olympic and don’t be too sad when we come away with a hard-fought 3-1 loss.



10 Things every County fan can relate to: 

1. Buying a season ticket, spending the whole summer in a state of unfounded optimism, only for us to be languishing in 17th place by mid December. Season over.


2. Nowadays, you’d actually appreciate a Tuesday evening Carling Cup game in September.

3. Getting asked the question ‘So which team do you support? City or United?’ by every Stockport resident, ever.

4.  Banging your shins on ridiculously tiny turnstile gates as you walk through them.

5. Clapping the players for doing something simple correctly, even though it’d be a given at any other club. ‘Well done Assoumani, you managed to pass it 10 yards and not fall over!’ *clap clap clap*

6. When games against away at Macclesfield, Accrington and Morecambe used to fill you with dread, but now you’d give anything to have those games back.

7. Getting tempted once in a blue moon (sorry) to buy some half time food from under the Cheadle End, then queuing for half an hour, missing a rare County goal and only managing to grab a kit-kay chunky which cost you £2.30. Ah yes, that’s why I never bought food.


8. Chuckling to yourself when you hear teams in this division referring to their grounds as ‘stadiums’.

9. The 90 minute-a-week friendship you have with Dave, the bloke that sits next to you who hates all referees unconditionally.

10. The realisation that half the teams in this division are made up of ex-County players we let go of when we were decent, and you await the inevitable hat-trick they’ll score against us upon their return to EP.




10 Types of people you’ll see at Edgeley Park: 

Edgeley Park is home to a diverse and wonderful selection of people. The only thing that unites the masses is the love of County, but look below the SCFC-loving surface and you’ll see some real characters.

1. The casual – Usually located towards the back of the Cheadle End, this type of person will normally be decked out in expensive designer clothes (Adidas Originals, Stone Island, Fila, etc) and bright white trainers. They normally enjoy partaking in the more explicit County songs and prefer standing to sitting. Guaranteed to be the first ones on the pitch and up for any sort of a fight. The casual maintains a strong social media presence, ensuring a weekly instagram post of what they’re wearing to the game with the caption #Clobber.

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2. The Pop-Siders – Everybody wants to be them but nobody is, this clumped group of individuals are the true die-hards of the Blue and White army. Admired by women and envied by men, they sit dignified and glorious. They will never leave their beloved Pop Side; administration, liquidation and demolition of Edgeley Park would occur before they ever left.

3. The Pure FM Listener – These types of fans are smart. They get the best of both worlds, with one ear listening to the fantastic Pure FM commentary whilst the other soaks in the EP atmosphere. These supporters usually have a smug grin on their face as they listen in to who exactly got the final touch in that goalmouth scramble before proceeding to tell you promptly.

4. The Ref-Hater – This person must have been wronged by a referee in their childhood, it’s the only explanation for their unconditional hatred of every referee and linesman that has ever graced the EP turf. Even the most unquestionable decisions will be greeted with the sarcastic ‘Are you sure Ref?’

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5. The Happy-Clapper – This guy will clap absolutely anything, Ian Ormson kicks the ball straight (clap), Scott Spencer holds the ball up (clap), a winger runs forward (clap). You can guarantee that unless the player in question scores an own goal, they’ll be getting vigorous hand support from this guy/gal.

6. The loves-to-moan Fan – I’m not sure what this person does when County are doing well, but they’re definitely louder and prouder when we’re not so great, this type of fan lives to criticise the players. Admittedly, this is more acceptable recently, but there’s no doubting the rehearsed, ruthless, yet witty insults that leave this person’s mouth.

7. The Marionsboard Preacher – This person will give you a weekly round-up of rumours, news and in-the-know gossip straight from Marionsboard, Yellowboard or County Heaven. You may not know or even care about what this person is telling you regarding the latest boardroom change or seeding plan of the pitch, but make no mistake the marionsboard preacher will let you know regardless.

8. The Suits – Found in the executive area of the Danny Begara Stand, these people will turn up 10 minutes late to the game and leave 10 minutes before the end of each half, all in the name of networking, prawn sandwiches and bucks fizz.

9. The Main Standers – To those of us in the cheadle end, the main standers are something of a mystery. Rarely seen up close and rarely heard, they sit in a subdued reticence for the majority of the game, only coming alive when a particularly outrageous decision or offside call has not gone County’s way.

10. The Ground-Hopper – Armed with an expensive camera, this individual will focus less on the game and more on the architecture of the ground. Can be located on Hardcastle Road before and after the game, whilst during the game will usually be pointing the camera away from the pitch and towards the stands and fans.

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